Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
