I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
