I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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