Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Couch. On fire.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
