I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
