Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
