He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
