Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
