I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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