you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
