She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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