So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize