Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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