I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
