i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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