Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
