ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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