glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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