Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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