So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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