It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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