3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
