dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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