i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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