girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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