Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
