We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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