you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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