Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
