Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
