Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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