I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
