Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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