I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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