White coat. Heels.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
