Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
