Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
