my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
