Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
