Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
