What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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