shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
pray to the hookup gods
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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