Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
