Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
