ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
