what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
