he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
