I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
