We're like a lot better than the average bears
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
