I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
smell my finger.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
